Sorry I haven’t been writing much this past week. I was so busy and got caught in a whirlwind. Addiction still has some stigma attached to it. I’ve seen this mostly in the older generations. I’ve heard people joke about addiction. “they could stop if they want”…”get over it” and I cant help but think, addiction is way more than just needing whatever it is that you need. It is a constant craving. A feeling that convinces someone they cannot live without a substance- or even a person.
I would know. I was addicted to drugs. People often don’t share the depth of their feelings and actions during this time so I thought I’d share mine through multiple posts.
My dad’s side of the family has struggled a lot with addiction and that was something I should’ve taken into consideration when “exploring” with drugs because family history is no joke. I used in a happy setting- to relax and escape when life got too hard but eventually, I began using to take the edge off for the slightest reasons. This was when things started to go downhill. My mood- my mental stability or lack thereof was so dependent on drugs.
Whenever I felt sad, I ran towards drugs without thinking or maybe I didn’t want to. It was like I was stuck in some alternate universe, where nothing in my life felt right without using. It was the most traumatic moment of my life. Was I that weak I couldn’t stop myself? It felt like my happiness was only around when I was high and looking back, that was absolutely not true but in the moment it felt that way. Luckily, i was strong and I did my best to get out of that situation. It was the hardest,yet best decision i made for myself. It look a lot of failures to become sober but I did it!
I didn’t get into the mental health aspect as much as i would like but I will in the next post so please stick around, follow and like.